I just coached a client on accepting, allowing, and feeling discomfort and it was challenging to stay neutral because I have been feeling so much discomfort myself!
I’ve been stepping out of my comfort zone repeatedly and doing things I’ve never done before. Many of them are exciting and energizing, yet many of them difficult and daunting.
What is the worst that can happen? The answer is always the same: A NEGATIVE EMOTION. Put pen to paper and ask yourself what you’re really afraid of—do the downward arrow ⬇️ exercise, writing what you’re worried about, followed by answering “and then what would happen?” Notice that even in the worst-case scenario, what we are really fearing is experiencing a negative emotion. At the end of the road, it would be how our thoughts about a circumstance would leave us feeling…lonely, disappointed, scared, embarrassed, not good enough, feeling like a failure, etc.
When we begin to look at obstacles this way, we can recognize that what we really need to learn how to do is experience and allow the negative emotion that comes afterward. Learning to be ok when things are not ok is one of the greatest life skills we can practice and continually strive to learn.
Think about courage and how to draw on more of it—to face and feel negative emotions instead of resisting them, to find peace and trust in the process, to work through mistakes and failures as you learn new things, to be OK with not being Ok!
Feeling all of our feelings is worth the time and effort. Especially the uncomfortable ones we tend to avoid. Discomfort is part of the process, enabling us to grow. I’m going to become an expert in learning how to feel discomfort!
This is all part of the 50/50 “opposition in all things” principle in which I strongly believe. We can’t have positive without negative. We won’t know JOY unless we have experienced heartache and sadness. Discomfort is our currency for growth. It’s becoming that stronger version of ourselves and coming to see more of that person who God intends for us to be.
